Here's another reason why writing workshops are the bomb

If you're like me, you were trained to write a whipping five-paragraph essay in the 9th grade and the format inscribed itself on your DNA by the time you graduated from high school.

And then, if you're like me, you became a writer (of sorts) and started to teach writing, and began to loathe the cockroach almost as much a string of adverbs.

Here's a great post about the subject: "Kill the 5-Paragraph Essay".  I agree with John Warner that the verminous essay has oh so many flaws to it, not the least of which is the fact that no one can really communicate anything to anyone in those 5 robotic paragraphs. The form breeds superficial compliance, that is. Rote thinking.  Rote lack of thinking, I mean. It's a factory for generality and banality. Further, as Warner suggests, it's a form that doesn't think at all about audience or purpose ... and forget about methods.

What we learn, eventually, those of us who read a lot and write a lot, is that writing for an audience is key.  You have to imagine just WHO you're writing for, and then what you want to say or do for that reader.  Only then can you figure out the best way to do that.

I think that's what a good writing workshop can do for you: if you're constantly sharing what you write, then you're forced to think about your audience every time you sit down with pen/pencil and paper (please note the "old school" methodology here, and realize my hypocrisy as I tap this out on my MacBook). You have to imagine what will catch that reader's attention, and hold it. You have to think about the conversations you've been having with them (lately) and how you're going to add to one of them. You have to think about the best way to organize your thoughts or ideas or examples, and (the best part) you usually have to have some crunchy examples to keep their attention.  You have to turn blah blah blah bullshit into an actual steaming pile of steer dung, in other words, complete with the fragrant waft of spring, 3D stink lines marring the crisp air.

A picture vs. my 20 words

So even if you're not going to be a professional writer, or scribble best-selling novels in your laundry room like Stephen King, you can learn how important it is to write coherently, concretely, and compellingly for any given situation (even that freaking essay on Henry James that you've been putting off til the last minute) -- if you take the writing workshop and get over the fear of actual communication.

Ah, the fear of actual communication. That, kiddies, is a topic for another day.

Practicing What I Preach

Someone said in class the other day: "I hate to blog!" -- kind of in the same tone that I might say "I hate to pick up my dog's poop!"

Sorry, I wanted to say. Female apology mode (ugh).

I know how that student feels.  As soon as someone assigns me something, it loses at least a bit of its luster. Thus, when writing poems became a defacto expectation of my job, sitting down to compose one took on some of the same dread-of-the-slog feeling that the thought of having to crank out a seminar paper on Walt Whitman created in grad school. Ugh. Head>>desk.

So I can understand the feeling of squeamish reluctance my students might have for writing a blog entry (or six) about reading as a writer, or reading in general, or writing in general, or writing in their very own particular. Not only is it homework, but it's "out there" in the public realm. Who might read it? Who might stumble across it and use it in some way ... some dark, nefarious way ... (?)  [Like, is someone from the CIA reading this right now and adding it my file?]

Writing in the open is scary. Writing in general is scary. Writing "to spec" (on demand, that is, and according to a laundry-list of requirements) is not only scary, it can also be annoying, frustrating, and paranoid-inducing. Now the writer has to worry not only about the professor's opinion, but also about classmates's opinions, and rogue readers's opinions.

And then there's the real fact of my own hypocrisy to acknowledge.  "Hey, ya'll, write a blog. Write every day. Write two exercises per week and share them with the rest of the class. Read those puppies aloud in front of everyone and let us discuss them while you squirm in your seat, happy/appalled to be the center of our concentrated attention. Do everything I say. What am I going to do?  Nothing. No. I will not write my own blog. I will not write (creative stuff, in any case) every day. I will never write two exercises per week, no, and, furthermore, I will not share them with you. Why? Because I'm the teacher. Because I hate having to prove that I have ideas or skillz or whatever all the time. Because I'm lazy/blocked/busy/important/old/empty/dull/lazy. What are you looking at me for? Go write your thing and stop bothering me."

This morning, I had a stern conversation with myself in the bathroom.  "You better catch up on your blog writing," I told myself. "You've let it go for a long time."  I reminded myself that when I write regularly, I feel better. I remember things more easily. I dream better dreams. I wake up with energy and enthusiasm, rather than with a vague headache and unfocused disgruntlement.

And when I write in the open, online, here, in a blog, I have a much more muscular sense of an audience. That's scary, yes. You're probably judging me right now (admit it, you are). You might even be saying something like: She's not all that.

Well, yeah. I'm not all that. But somehow I've made good on that bathroom promise and, word by word, sentence by sentence, strung this sucker together. Do I hate it on some level? Perhaps. But I love how I feel when I'm finished.

How to Add Links to a Blog Post

Let's say you're typing and you want to add a link: Syllabus for a course that's already over

Here's the video of the instructions I just made:  How to Add Links to a Blog Post.  I came back later and changed the name of the link from Assignment to what you see above -- to do that, click on the link once and then click "change" and alter the text to be shown.

By the way, if you want to learn how to make a screen capture video of your own, check out Snagit, and add it to your Chrome.  It's free (at least for a while) and it's easy to use.  I mean, even I can do it. I can imagine some sort of cool screen-captured vlog entry ...

The Personal Statement and Digital Space

Yesterday I got the chance to talk to students in their junior and senior years at the college who are thinking about what comes next -- "life outside of St. Norbert." The subject of our talk was the personal statement.

Back when I was a graduate student, I ended up (through a series of interesting turns) helping medical school applicants to write their personal statements. Most of those I helped were successful candidates. What I learned from that process is that most of us don't think too much about what those statements do or who's reading them -- it helps to talk about your ideas about yourself with someone else before you dive into writing that draft. And the purpose of that statement is, I guess, to introduce yourself to the application board, and to try to make a positive impression upon them.

While you're writing, I told the SNC folk, think about your audience as real people. Try to imagine what sorts of preconceptions they might have about you, coming from a Catholic liberal arts college (a small one) in the Midwest. Anticipate their thoughts and then offer them crunchy details (specifics), memorable tidbits, that will counter those preconceptions (if they're negative) and reinforce them (if they're positive). Above all, I said, be specific -- don't just say "I want to help people." Duh. All doctors should want to help people.  What do you mean by "people" -- who do you want to help?  And when you said "help," what does that really mean?

I could tell that my audience was partially excited and enthused about what I was saying, and partially scared witless. One man said, "Oh, so the goal is just to be as ... unique? ... as possible?"  And the emphasis he put on "unique" made it sound a little like cat piss.  He also asked where the "creativity" should end and the "facts" should begin.

This morning, it occurred to me that the digital space is all about that personal statement. Those of us who maintain social media sites have already constructed at least one public identity (if not a slew of them), and think all the time about who we're writing for and what we want to accomplish.  Well, we should be thinking about those things, ideally. We use photos and quotes and links and pithy bon mots to decorate our self-tree and show whoever we've invited into the circle who we are and what we think we're here to do. Perhaps the "statement of purpose" should be phased out in favor of some sort of electronic site with an introduction page -- just two or three paragraphs like the star on top of the self tree, a shining overview of what's below.

Perhaps if we think about the personal statement as a "snail mail" equivalent of a significant post, it won't be as daunting. And it'll come out more authentic.